By Have you ever wondered what causes your stress? What about your emotions? Where do they come from? Your mind is a battlefield and the following things are the enemy:
- Your ego
- Lack of empathy
- Complacency
- Toxic relationships
Your ego: Your ego (h-ego or sh-ego) is the voice that tells you, “You’re the best at what you do and you don’t require correction or change.” The problem is, your ego only serves you. Other people, organizations, and businesses are not the priority. Your ego will slowly destroy communication.
Regardless of what you believe or what your peers (the ones like you) keep telling you, no one enjoys arrogant people. Confidence is acceptable. You should be confident about certain things. When you make other people uncomfortable, based on your opinion of yourself, you will eventually find yourself alone on the island you created.
Lack of empathy: Let’s face it, we are a busy society that I like to call, Instant Gratification Society. We want results and want them yesterday. Because of this, we no longer know how to talk to people. We completely disregard emotions and go immediately after what we want.
Example: “John, why are you so distracted, lately? Your projects are all over the place and the leadership is starting to take notice. If you don’t fix whatever is wrong with you, I won’t hesitate to get rid of you.” Is that being empathetic? Will this get you or other people back on track or make things worse?
Let’s fix this – “John, why are you so distracted, lately? Your projects are all over the place and the leadership is starting to take notice. Is everything okay with you? I’m concerned.”
“No, I lost my father two weeks ago.”
“I’m sorry to hear about your loss. Would you like to go to my office and talk about it?” That’s what empathy looks like. This is also how leaders should treat their employees. This builds rapport and will help the organization, down the road. People are people, not a project. Reconsider how you talk to people.
Complacency: “Why should I work on our relationship? We’ve been together for over ten years.” This statement tells one story: I don’t need to worry about us and I’ll allocate my focus on external things.
Complacency is tunnel vision and only exists because you are comfortable. When you’re comfortable, you stop growing as a person and your relationships pay the price, too. What makes you comfortable can jeopardize your future.
Therefore, “We’ve always done things, this way,” will eventually fuel disappointment. You must adapt to your environment, embrace change, and never stop growing.
Toxic relationships: These are relationships where two people do not share the same values and because of that, there is a lot of tension and negative energy. The problem is, we’re not always aware that we’re even involved in a toxic relationship. We think, No way, none of my friends are capable of that. Unfortunately, it is possible.
Reference: Toxic People – Take Away Their Power
Toxic relationships will increase your anxiety, undermine trust, and could cause you to question your own judgement. Why do I choose to associate with these type of people? Am I like them? Toxic people are not interested in you. Just like your ego, they’re only focused on themselves and their agenda. They do not generate success and growth.
Bottom Line: If you want to survive daily operations, you must eliminate these things from your life. They do not serve you and if they’re not mitigated at their earliest stages, they could cause:
- Physical stress
- Mental stress
- Depression
- Loneliness
- Isolation
- Trust issues
- Loss of a job
- Relationship issues
Win the battle, in your mind.
Jason Lee Hughes 