Most of us want to be the person we needed as a child. By doing so, it helps us cope with the things we struggled with during a particular chapter in our life. It doesn’t erase it but does effectively use the pain as an instrument for change.
What you need to remind yourself: If the people in your life would have been what you wanted them to be, you would not be the person you are, today.
“I wish you would have been a better friend/sibling/parent.”
“I needed your help, and you weren’t there for me.”
“Why didn’t you warn me about life’s major obstacles?”
What you need to understand: Your past set you on a course for your present and your future. Meaning, your past is your advantage and you must learn to use it strategically. You can’t change the past but you can certainly write your future.
“History is being read but it’s also being written by people with imagination.”
– Les Brown
“Your absence helped me grow and begin to understand how to operate, independently.”
“Yes, I wish you would have been there to teach me; however, I learned a valuable skill that will set me up for success.”
“By not warning me, I developed situational awareness and now understand how to mitigate risks.”
Learning how to strategically use your past to your advantage, will ultimately set you up to win. Instead of running from your past, you must learn to embrace the skills and experience it facilitated.
Your perspective is the key. How you look at things, will always change the game.