With the popularity of social media platforms such as: Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and LinkedIn–we are now seeing an epidemic of people using filters to hide their identity. Although fake profiles/accounts are a real issue, that is not the purpose of this blog.
This blog is about the real version of you. For some reason, both women and men feel like they have to create a fake version of themselves, just to satisfy the social media world. What happened? Are they unwritten laws and arbitrary (unachievable) standards that we choose to accept? I hate to be the one to break the news but–this is not healthy and definitely a contributing factor for depression.
Sure, this woman is very attractive but you have to wonder, how many attempts and filters were used to create this finished product? Some additional questions to consider:
What message does this send to other women that are focused on physical fitness? Some women are motivated and inspired, some feel worse about themselves. I love that my wife is serious about fitness [and very beautiful] but that does not define her.
Does this create a false sense of reality? If you wore this outfit and worked out like her, you could look like this…
What if she were more masculine? Would other women and men unfairly judge her based on masculine features? She’s still the same woman that someone loves.
Unfortunately, women are held to standards that are insulting at times and not fair. A woman doesn’t have to look perfect to be accepted by society. If a woman looks masculine or likes things that are labeled guy things–so what? She’s still a woman and is entitled to like whatever she wants. That’s called freedom.
Again, this is an attractive man but you have to wonder, how many attempts and filters were used to create this finished product? Some additional questions to consider:
What message is this sending to other men? Are they required to be fit/slim in order to be considered attractive? I work my a** off in the gym and although I want to look fit, I do it mainly for my health. My health is my priority.
Does this create a false sense of reality? If you pick up these tires, you too will look like this…
What if he demonstrated effeminate characteristics? With the double standards put on men, he would probably be insulted, threatened, and labeled. Effeminate men are dehumanized due to the arbitrary standards that society created. Personally, I have some effeminate qualities but they do not define me. Why does it matter?
Just like women, men are held to standards that undermine their character based on made up standards. Things like the man card and man rules are the grade card regardless if men choose to accept those standards or not.
Bottom line: I am certainly not picking on people or calling anyone out. I’m also not targeting the woman and man I used for examples. These are good pictures and they should be proud of the results.
What I am trying to convey is that filters are ruining our society. They are causing us to forget about what’s important: our character. Using filters for certain pictures is important. I would be lying if I said I don’t ever do it. We just have to remember that we can’t use a filter to hide everything about ourselves. In fact, you shouldn’t want to do that because we’re all unique. The fact that you don’t look like Jessica or Paul is a good thing. You have value and your looks and character are an important piece of the puzzle.
Yesterday I had the honor of co-hosting our 3rd annual Sexual Assault Awareness & Prevention Month(SAAPM) 5k Color Run/Walk Event at Rickenbacker (Columbus), Ohio. This was a joint operation that involved four branches of services.
Reference my post: SAAPM 2018 for additional information about Sexual Assault Awareness & Prevention Month.
This event was designed to bring awareness to sexual assault survivors, sexual harassment, and prevention/bystander intervention. I want to personally thank the victim advocates, chain of command, volunteers, the participants (100+), and most importantly, my friend and mentor, Captain J. Green (121 ARW SARC).
I can honestly say, the entire month was a huge success. The In Their Honor event on the 20th was truly unique, we had tons of participation for National Denim Day on the 25th. The culminating event was the 5k Color Run/Walk Event on the 27th of April.
Again, I want to thank everyone for this amazing journey and I am positive the 2019 events will be even better.
“We are the force behind the fight to achieve culture change.”
Note: The photo used for the cover is from the 2017 5k Color/Walk Run Event. The official photos have not been published, yet.
Have you ever heard the phrase, “Where’s your man card?” Or, “Give me your man card?” If so, what is the first thing that comes to mind in regards to a man card? Do you picture the image that society has created about what a man should look like and the things that he should be capable of doing?
Regardless if you agree or disagree, society has created a profile of a stereotypical man. Note: These are just some examples and they may not all apply.
6′ or taller
In shape, if not the size of a body builder even if it means using HGH or other illegal or dangerous substances
Incredibly intelligent about “everything”
Works on cars and can fix every type of issue
Can repair any house issue, build additional rooms, and even build a house
Consistently drives the nicest car/truck/SUV
Consumes alcohol every day
Hangs out at the local bar with his “boys”
A man’s man
Are incredibly brave in the face of danger
Has an occupation that demonstrates his dominance. No office job that gives him soft hands.
Should never be questioned about being right or wrong because he’s a man
As a 38 year old male, it bothers me to see this type of shift in our society. Why should a man have to be perfect in order to be considered a man?
If these examples are what it takes to be a man, then I’m here to tell you that I’m not sure that being a stereotypical man or man’s man is worth it. Personally, I don’t value all of these things. So what does that say about me? Should I turn in my man card to the closest “You Just Got Revoked” Man Card station?
The fact is, I don’t care about this man card thing or what it takes to be a man’s man.
Honestly, you shouldn’t either. Why should you spend your entire life trying to be something that you’re not? That is, if this applies to you. If you are someone that can do all of these things, good for you. Personally, I’ll still respect you regardless of what you’re capable of doing. Sadly, not everyone feels this way and this is where these stereotypes are born.
In my world, being a man represents the following things:
Loving my wife
Loving my children
Setting the example via my actions and not my gender related words
Respecting my wife and other women by not being a womanizer. Women are people, not a conquest
Being comfortable knowing that I can’t work on cars because it doesn’t interest me
Being flexible with not being able to do a lot with my house despite being interested in that field of work
Spending time with my wife and kids instead of the “boys”
Being content with the fact that although I’m in shape, jeopardizing my long-term health to look perfect is not worth it
Being comfortable knowing that my occupation doesn’t demonstrate my dominance but it certainly helps people that might not be able to help themselves. It doesn’t make me soft.
Understanding that crying is an emotion that all human beings are born with regardless of their gender
It’s acceptable not to consume alcohol or in moderation
It’s perfectly normal to experience fear
Height and weight have nothing to do with being a man
Becoming wealthy takes time, patience and consistent action
I recognize that not everyone will share my beliefs. That’s what makes your life unique because you get to decide what you believe in. My only advice, don’t always listen to what society is telling you about being a man. This is your life, not theirs. Being a man should involve you being happy. So ask yourself this question:
“Am I a man’s man or am I a man that accommodates the life that I choose?”
Regardless if you are trying to lose weight or gain it, you cannot fall into the number on the scale trap. Too many people allocate all of their focus on worrying about what the scale is going to display. When they do that, they forget about the level of work that it takes to get the scale to display their desired goal.
“This scale needs calibrated!” No, your focus needs to be calibrated, not the scale.
Consider this, if you’re training to run a marathon, would you spend most of your time focusing on how you’ll react when you cross that finish line? Or, would you allocate that time on improving your cardiovascular endurance? The finish line is not possible without the proper training and discipline.
The bottom line: As long as you’re taking the necessary steps to achieve your goal, the number on the scale is not the priority. You’ll eventually get there. Goals are necessary if you desire to improve yourself. However, they are not achievable without the necessary focus. Never stop believing.
There is no magic pill, no magic body wrap, and no magic supplement that will ever replace hard work and discipline in the gym and at the dinner table. Yes, vitamins, pre-workout supplements, and post-workout supplements are incredibly important (especially if they’re the correct ones that support your goals); however, they still don’t replace the work.
Please, don’t be fooled by what you read and see on the internet; especially via YouTube. This is a business world and people are always going to try and persuade you to try something new. That’s perfectly ok; that’s how you discover new things. But again, that will never replace hard work. Stay focused, remember your goals and conquer them!