Top 8 Things to Never Stop Doing with Your Wife

Here are my Top 8 things to never stop doing with your wife:

1. Never stop dating your wife: complacency will damage your marriage. This normally occurs when you stop dating your wife. A healthy relationship requires you to keep things exciting and adventurous. Take her to a movie, the park, or a candlelight dinner — often. She’s worth it.

2. Never stop noticing how great she looks, today: “You look amazing, beautiful,” is something your wife deserves to hear. She works hard on her physical fitness goals and is always grateful when you acknowledge it.

3. Never stop appreciating how much she contributes to your happiness: your wife is a multi-tasker, yet — she always finds time to contribute to your happiness. Happiness starts with you (a choice) and when you have a great supporting cast (your wife), not even the darkest days can undermine it.

4. Never stop opening doors for her: contrary to popular belief, chivalry is not dead. Doing nice things for your wife is a choice. Opening her door might be old-fashioned but demonstrating your desire to make her a priority, should never get old.

5. Never stop asking her for advice: no, she is not your mother. However, she is an intelligent woman that knows you very well. There will be days when you just don’t know what to do or need a second opinion. She’s always got your back and can help set you up to win.

6. Never stop listening to her when she just needs to vent: some days, she had a bad day at the office. Other days, she didn’t agree with her friend, family member, or coworker. Regardless of what you’ve got going on in your life, now is not the time to bring it up. When she talks, implement your active listening skills. You’re not minimizing your life or circumstances. You’re simply conveying: I’m here to listen about your day, in an effort to help you feel better. I’m one of your best friends.

7. Never stop laughing with her: regardless if you’re watching a movie, telling a joke, sharing a story, or witnessing something funny — never stop laughing with her. Laughter is a way to demonstrate that you enjoy her company. Laughter is unique because it transitions into happiness. When you’re laughing together, you feel good about the moment and desire more.

8. Never stop recognizing her value to the world: let’s just be honest, your wife is an incredible person. She’s talented personally and professionally, a great mother to your children, and always seems to go the extra mile with everything. Here’s the unique thing about her — she’s naive about these things. Why? They’re habitual because she’s committed to excellence. Her attention to details help you, your children, and everyone within her circle of influence — win.

She is amazing. She is your wife.

People Don’t Notice as Much as You Think They Do | Negative Self Image

Be honest: how many times have you thought to yourself, I look like a fool right now and people are laughing at me? If you’re anything like most of the people on this planet, this has probably happened to you at least 5-6 times. As much as we don’t like to admit, we are way too hard on ourselves (Negative Self Image) and we put words in other people’s mouths. (Mind Reading)

“They’re laughing at my shirt.”

“My coworkers think I’m an idiot.”

“The panel probably noticed when I accidentally used the wrong word during my interview.”

“Nobody trips over their own feet while working.”

These are just some of the examples of things people say to themselves. For some reason, people have a tendency to gravitate toward negative aspects of themselves. At least, what they believe to be negative.

Focus on what matters.

The truth is, 80% of the things you’re stressing or worrying about, other people don’t even notice. Why? Because they’re too busy stressing and worrying about themselves. People are not perfect. They’ve never been perfect and they never will be. Yet, our comparison trap leads us to believe they’re perfect and we’re insufficient. In fact, everything about us is subpar.

[Read more about the comparison trap in my upcoming book: The Best Version of You.]

“Someone’s opinion of you does not have to become your reality.” — Les Brown

Here are 3 things to help calibrate your thinking:

  1. Stop stressing. People honestly don’t notice when you say something wrong or trip over your own feet. If they do, that’s ok — they’ll eventually do the same thing.
  2. Stop overthinking and mind reading. Unless you have evidence to support your concern, stop overthinking and mind reading. For example: “John, I heard what you said and you sounded ridiculous.” Did they actually say that or do you think they said it? Information changes the situation. Ask yourself: What information do I have and what am I missing? Assumptions do not = reality.
  3. Focus on what matters. What people think of you should have no impact on your goals, daily activities, beliefs, and life in general. Worrying about other people is a waste of your valuable time. It serves no purpose and will simply elevate your stress. (You will catastrophize.) Focusing on what will create winning streaks is how you will take your life to the next level. Small things are the secret. Do the little things every single day.
What evidence do you have?

No matter how hard it gets, you have to keep moving forward. People are not thinking about you as much as you think — they’re honestly not. The more time you spend on trying to please them, the less time you’ll have to work on yourself.

Self Discipline vs Self Destruction

Self Discipline: Focus on yourself and ignore external noise.

Self Destruction: Focus on other people and listen/accept external and internal noise.

LGBT Pride Month – 2018

Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender (LGBT) Pride Month (or LGBTQ) is currently celebrated each year in the month of June in honor of the 1969 Stonewall riots in Manhattan.

To read about the full story: https://www.loc.gov/lgbt-pride-month/about/

Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender (LGBT) Pride Month

Every year the LGBT community is faced with difficult questions and comments, such as:

  • “Why don’t we have a heterosexual Pride Month?”
  • “Why is this even a thing?”
  • “Why do I always have to see this stuff?”
  • “This is ruining social media and television.”
  • “Why do they have to remind me of this, every year?”
  • “These people are annoying…”

Although everyone has the right to ask questions and express their opinion — it is still important to think before you ask or comment. Information changes the situation. As discussed in the About – LGBT link, everything has a meaning. Plus, regardless of what people think or believe, everyone deserves something to celebrate and be happy about.

As a sexual assault victim advocate, a man, a father, a husband, a human, and someone that values basic human rights: supporting LGBT rights are extremely important to me. This community holds a very special place in my heart. For that reason, I am a proud member of the Human Rights Campaign (HRC).

Human Rights Campaign (HRC) logo

For more information about this great organization, visit: https://www.hrc.org/

The Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender (LGBT) community uses the rainbow flag

(commonly known as the gay flag or pride flag), which has different colors to represent the diversity of the community. Here are a few examples:

At the end of the day, LGBT Pride Month is about the celebration of people loving other people. Even if you don’t believe in this, due to religious or personal beliefs, it doesn’t matter because everything can’t always be about you. There are 7 billion unique people on this planet and it would be a tragedy if we were all the same.

Seeing people happy or in love, regardless if they’re heterosexual or LGBT, should bring a smile to your face. That is what life is all about. No, it is not teaching children something bad. Judging, labeling, or even committing a hate crime because you disagree with someone’s sexual orientation is what’s teaching children bad things. I would rather my children grow up in an environment where everyone is happy in their own unique way, then have them grow up in an environment filled with hate or worse — the fear of them self-identifying as LGBT. To me, this world has no place for that. After all, it is 2018, not 1418.

Additional helpful links:

GLAAD: https://www.glaad.org/sites/default/files/GLAAD-Social-Share.jpg

Lambda Legal: https://www.lambdalegal.org/

The Advocate: https://www.advocate.com/