Effective Communication | Put your Phone Away

Face-to-face conversations are the most effective way to communicate and create growth. Text messaging and emailing are a way to communicate but not the most effective, because there’s no connection.

For example: If I told you, “Hey Michelle, that shirt looks very good on you,” would telling you via a text be as impactful as telling you face-to-face?

Could you see this reaction, via a text message?

The answer is no because anyone can text that. Texting and emailing require no emotions and usually do not generate connection. All you have to do is just type and press send.

The only thing being communicated is: I’m acting like you’re not even here.

If you want to become a better communicator, have a face-to-face conversation, whenever it is possible. By doing so, it conveys: What you have to say, is important to me.

Having face-to-face conversations, also develop your communication skills, outside of your personal relationships. Just because we have multiple platforms such as: Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and Instagram, doesn’t mean we have to use them for every aspect of communication. “Sure I have time, Bob, pull up a chair and let’s talk,” demonstrates authenticity.

The Hypothesis | Your Goals

The hypothesis: To reach your goal, you must do the following things:

  • work hard
  • stay committed in the presence of adversity
  • adapt to your environment
  • exercise patience and consisted action
What are the steps required to make it happen?

The reality: People quit due to the following reasons:

  • they experience short-term adversity
  • other people disapprove or question their goal or vision
  • they get distracted by their television or a social event
  • they focus on the amount of days required and not the process itself
  • they fail to identify their WHY
  • they stop holding themselves accountable for their shortfalls
  • they use the excuse, “This doesn’t work!”

How do they know if the hypothesis is true or false, if they’re not doing all the steps that are required? Even if takes 15 minutes, 1 year, or 20 years, it is still part of the process. People often ask, “How did that person become an overnight success?” What they don’t realize is, that overnight success actually took 20 years. Meaning, there’s not set timeline regardless of what it looks like from the outside.

“People are rewarded in public for what they’ve practiced for years, in private.” – Tony Robbins

Success is a process that requires commitment.

Therefore, the hypothesis doesn’t need to be updated, your habits and train of thought, do.

Perseverance

The ability to adapt and overcome obstacles regardless of their complexity. The desire and will to say, I might be tired both physically and mentally, but I’m not defeated. I will keep moving forward.

Use this philosophy in every aspect of your life. You and your future are worth it.

The obstacle is the PATH.

Let People Enjoy Things

Not everything that you see other people do will align with your values and that’s perfectly okay. Let people be who they want to be and let them enjoy things.

When I was a kid, I didn’t quite understand this because I was usually on the receiving end of derogatory comments. So when I got older – I naturally thought this type of behaviour was acceptable. I was wrong.

I now understand that what we say about other people tells a bigger story about us. Pointing out character flaws, clothes that we don’t like, make-up that we don’t like, hairstyles that we don’t like, and relationships that we don’t like (or approve), will not make you a better person.

To believe that other people should conform to the things that you like is a sign of arrogance even if it’s not intended. I personally want to apologize to anyone that I have hurt or disappointed over the course of my life. I take full responsibility of my actions and I am committed to cultivating change.

In conclusion, if you want to point out flaws, focus on your perception and thought patterns.

Take Risks | Challenge your Comfort Zone

Life is about taking risks, right? Then why do so many people constantly worry about the repercussions of taking them?

Risk-averse: Also known as not living your life. If you don’t take risks and avoid operating in conditions that present unfamiliar opportunities, you will not be successful in reaching your goals.

What are you avoiding by not taking risks?

  1. growth
  2. experience
  3. developmental situations
Break away from your safety net

Your comfort zone is not where the magic resides, so it’s time to leave it.

When I was a kid, I struggled with this because it was always easier to do what was comfortable. Adversity kept me from experiencing opportunities that will never present themselves, again. Now I use this mistake as a teaching tool. Meaning, I embrace my mistakes. Learning to embrace your mistakes will fuel your confidence to take calculated risks.

This concept changed my life

Once you’re able to take that important step, you will have more time to focus on what matters:

  1. your future
  2. your health
  3. your success

Take Action | Talking is not Enough

Telling the world what you’re interested in doing is not a bad thing. In fact, it demonstrates that you have a vision. However, until you put those words into action, they simply remain words.

Put your words into action
  • If you speak highly about a person that you care about, show them.
  • If you talk about being good at something, demonstrate it.

I just don’t tell my beautiful wife that I love her, I show her by doing things that demonstrates my love. In order to have a successful marriage, I have to do things that align with my (our) vision. This has secondary and tertiary effects: happiness and romance.

Words are very powerful; however, it’s the action that carries those words from point A to point B. Taking action is a way to demonstrate authenticity. Would you invest in a product if it could not do what the advertisement claimed? Probably not.

Do something great today by showing the world or someone you care about, that you are more than just your words.

What are you Becoming?

Every time that you get angry or annoyed about your situation, you are affirming that you want it to continue. Because the fact is, what we feel and what we think, are what we become.

So if you want to change that, you have to learn how to operate from the inside – out.

Embrace Love

I thought that going to school for Criminal Justice would help me have a better understanding of why things happen the way that they do.

On the administrative side, sure, I get it. But the side that deals with emotions, specifically hate, I will never understand it because it is the opposite of what I value.

Hate has the ability to destroy cities.

I value and embrace love. 20+ years of military service, that involved training for combat readiness, doesn’t change that because the answer is still love and it always will be.

Sadly, the world – for the most part, doesn’t share that view. But I will continue to stay on the path with those that will join me.

You Matter

Valentine’s Day is an interesting holiday because depending on who you ask, not everyone embraces it. Some people get overly excited, while others dread it due to the lack of romance in their life.

When people feel uncomfortable about an event or holiday, such as this one, they allow negative thoughts and emotions to take control of their day. They begin to question their self-worth and that is truly a tragedy. I am here to tell you that, regardless if you are:

  • Single
  • Married
  • Divorced
  • Dating
  • Depressed
  • Lonely
  • Disappointed
  • Going through a difficult time
  • Feeling overwhelmed with adversity

YOU matter. Your story is important and you are a vital piece of the puzzle.

Happy Valentine’s Day